Worthy of Love

It wasn’t until my own daughter expressed her desires to marry a girl that I began to internalize my own self-worth as a queer child of God.

I recently watched her play with her dolls, while pontificating about her future wedding with a girl. My heart flooded with love. Her innocence, her goodness, her pureness, her beautiful dreams of a happy future were nothing short of celebratory. She had plans, goals, desires, and reasons to live. I had so much love for her that I thought my heart might explode out of my chest. I felt like an I understood the scripture “my cup run it over.”

I whispered to myself, “Oh God, I love her so much.”

Then, without warning, a voice came to my mind, saying, “That’s how much we love you.”

My eyes widen and filled with tears. I was taken off guard. I rarely invite my heavenly parents to communicate with me. I’ve been hurt too many times in their name to trust those inner voices. I was told “no” by my community for so long that I couldn’t imagine myself as worthy of a sacred “yes.” Yet, the voice was clear, “That’s how much we love you.”

With those words, I imagined that I was worthy of love and joy.

*Originally published in The Book of Queer Mormon Joy on May 13, 2024.