She’s Crazy
I receive a lot of feedback for my work―both positive and negative. Some of it makes me laugh and some of it makes me cry. Somewhat recently, I received a criticism from a less than charitable reader who said, “She’s legit crazy.”
Strangely, the comment didn’t provoke the emotional response one might expect. I wasn’t mad or angry. I wasn’t sad or even offended. I was curious. What about my work would provoke someone to consider me crazy? How curious?
I must admit I felt a hint of sexism in the comment because it came from a man. Men telling women they are crazy has been a tactic used to delegitimize women’s experience long before I existed. To call a woman “crazy” for ideas that the prevailing majority might disagree with was nothing new or interesting. Women were diagnosis as “crazy” for wanting the right to vote, work outside the home, or falling in love with another woman. However, there seemed to be something more in his comment than just plain sexism.
“Craziness” as a social utility lets others know that this person is deranged from what the majority calls “reality.” Craziness is often used as a diagnosis to make sure that person is seen as so far removed from the prevailing subjective reality that they cannot be taken seriously. For example, many queer folks have been treated like a diagnosable disease of “crazy.” Our thoughts, desires, and experiences are outside the prevailing majority and therefore we must be deemed “crazy,” so we don’t infect the rest of the community with our “craziness.” Unfortunately, many horrible things happen to people we socially diagnose as “crazy.”
Social diagnosis is key. The diagnosis means that it’s possible to pinpoint craziness, treat it, fix it, and eradicate it. A diagnosis of craziness upon an outlier also helps the accuser gain a false sense of sanity. If that person is crazy and removed from reality, then that must mean I am sane and safe from the diagnosis of craziness. But this is false. Pointing out someone else’s subjectivity as “crazy” does not make ones own subjectivity “sane.” Instead, the diagnosis of “she’s legit crazy” is used as a security blanket to make oneself feel better about their own subjectivity and essentially their own craziness.
The truth of the matter is there is craziness that resides in all of us, especially when no two people have the same subjective reality. Reality as we know it is necessarily subjective when it is perceived and experience through a subjective lens. Anytime we experience the world differently than the person next to us, that’s the “craziness” we want to push away. Humans like to think of themselves as objective and push away the fact that our subjectivities are often in opposition with one another. When we haven’t developed the tools necessary to cope with these differences, we instinctually want to call the person next to us “crazy.” It’s a lazy coping mechanism that prevents us from confronting our own craziness.
This happens all the time. Yes, there is a layer of sexism in the experience I mentioned above, but it extends far beyond that. People who don’t have our religious beliefs, culture, values, or political views can quickly be delegitimized by calling them “crazy.” But in calling them “crazy” we have not made ourselves anymore sane.
However, when we call others “crazy” we have most likely alienated ourselves from the craziness that resided within―and that’s the real fear. What if I am really the crazy one? If you are afraid to ask this question, it should provoke introspection as to why it is you are afraid to be crazy. Is it because you are afraid of being treated like the so-called “crazy” people you encounter? Are you afraid of how society socially alienates the crazed or deranged? Are you afraid to sincerely engage in the “craziness” of another person’s subjective experience because it makes you questions your own false sense of objectivity? If so, it might be time to reevaluate our attitudes towards those we diagnose as “crazy.”
For me, a comment like “she’s legit crazy” is a fragile and lazy way to try and delegitimize some one without having to go through the effort of actually engaging with her work, content, or subjectivity. It would be just as easy for me to point the finger at him and call him the crazy one, but neither one of us would be saner for it. If there is such a thing as “sanity,” I suspect it’s found by engaging in the craziness we’re running away from and in reconciling our diverse subjectivities. Calling me “legit crazy” isn’t going to make anyone any saner. It only puts at easy the craziness that lies within.
