She is Liberated
My body did not function the way that most women’s bodies functioned. Despite my best efforts, my body faltered during pregnancy. I medicated my non-binary, intersex body to fit a binary system. One surgery led to another. I couldn’t eat and when I did I vomited uncontrollably. I pushed my body to its limits until I eventually collapsed from exhaustion.
I lied in bed with my arms wrapped around my belly in an attempt to hold my unborn daughter. I was so frail that the light from my bedroom window hurt my throbbing body. I wanted to crawl into a dark hole and wait out the remainder of pregnancy in peace. Under the covers of my bed, I told myself a story I told myself many times before.
God the Father is a single father, because his wife died after childbirth. God the Mother couldn’t be everything the cosmos wanted her to be. She couldn’t even be what She wanted to be. She was intersex. No matter how hard She tried, with all of the technology and magic at Her disposal, She would never fit into the binary category She was assigned. She gave life to the world in an honorable effort to fulfill Her role, and once She completed her task, She exhaled one last time before disappearing into the nothingness.
I wish I could go back in time to hug that poor mother hiding under the covers during a time of immense physical and psychological trauma. She had one story to describe her experience, yes, but she didn’t realize there was more to the story than the binary version she was told.
God the Mother didn’t die during childbirth. She transformed. She completed one task, yes, but the cosmos called her elsewhere. She was called to vistas outside the limited scope of binary languages, stories, labels, and prospects. She was capable of anything and everything. Her survival was a living testament to godly transformations. She didn’t abandon the role of motherhood; she expanded it. Her expansiveness is unimaginable to mere mortal minds. Her reach has no end, and eternal is Her name. She has a body as tangible as yours and mine, but it is glorified beyond binary expectations and limitations.
She is Alpha and Omega. She is what She is, and She will become as She chooses to become. God is not dead, She is liberated.
