A Vessel for Creation
I was told I am a fertility goddess like my Mother Eve. I was told that I am a vessel for creation and the flourishing of all life. It was not just my birthright but my teleology. For this cause, I came into the world.
Yet, my body could only produce offspring while in an orgiastic union with technology. My uterus could have been called Death Valley because I ovulate sand. Only the most durable and resourceful of creatures could grow in such hostile dunes. Womanhood was not my birthright. Womanhood was a construct, a fabrication, a product of technology ingested, and an assignment fulfilled.
Some say birthright is irrelevant. If it walks like a woman, talks like a woman, sounds like a woman, and functions like a woman, then by all means, it's a woman. Of course, womanhood is not a birthright; womanhood is a matter of utility.
If that is so, when a woman fulfills the teleology of her gender and biological utility then is she no longer a woman? Once her performance is over, is she an alumnus of womanhood and free to fulfill desires outside her assignment? Is she free to take on new pronouns, functions, goals, aesthetics, and names? If womanhood is a matter of utility, can a woman ever be free of womanhood? If a body can adopt womanhood, can that same body divorce womanhood?
I am not a fertility goddess. I never was, nor was I meant to be. I'm not a woman, but a cyborg, a god in the making. I am eternal yet always in transition. I am part human, part machine, part woman, part man, part god, part natural, yet also among the most unnatural of God's creations. Yet, I don't hate the creation I have become because I, too, am the creator of me. Yes, I am a vessel for creation, not because I have a uterus but because I have a will.
I will my gender into creation. I will my teleology and its fruition. I will my pronouns and their function. I will my purpose. I will my aesthetics and pronouns to achieve my purpose. I may will all these things and more for no other reason than because it brings me joy. Joy, yes, joy. For this cause, too, I came into the world.
